Divorce is possibly one of the most stressful events in your life. It brings forth a whirlwind of emotions which can make the situation even more painful. When you have given your best shot to your marriage, and it still crumbles away, you are most likely to consider ending it. However, the fear of divorce forces many people to continue living their lives trapped in unhappy marriages.
Since it is an extremely stressful life event, divorce anxiety and fear is more common than you would like to think. Anyone who has ever thought of terminating their marriage must have experienced some level of divorce phobia at some point in their life.
Divorce can be psychologically challenging and can cast a deep impact on your mental and emotional well-being. However, it is possible to overcome the fear of divorce.
Here’s how:
Accept the truth
Many people live in denial, sometimes for several years, not accepting the fact that their marriage has failed. Sometimes it is the stigma around divorce and sometimes their fear of divorce that keeps them from accepting the fact that despite their best efforts, the marriage has broken down. The first step to overcoming your fear of divorce is to accept the truth that your marriage is irreparable, and divorce is the only way forward.
Read more Dealing With the Strong Feelings from Divorce
Stop blaming yourself
Divorce affects not just you but also your family, and the magnitude of the decision may cause intense anxiety. Denying or avoiding the situation can have a very damaging effect on your psyche. It is quite common to blame yourself for the failure of your marriage, which can create feelings of loss, confusion, anxiety, and fear in your head. Blaming yourself is not going to help in any way. Whenever you hear an inner voice blaming yourself for all that went wrong, stop it immediately. Only then can you get over your fear of divorce and plan for your future.
Start journaling
Maintaining a journal where you write down your innermost feelings and fears is a proven way of overcoming your fears and phobias. Sometimes, a certain feeling or thought can paralyse you with fear, but when you write such thoughts down, very often, they don’t seem as intimidating. Don’t stop yourself by writing only about your fears. Write about your dreams and aspirations and how you can take action to achieve them.
Talk to someone you trust
Sharing your feelings with someone trustworthy can take a huge load off your shoulders. You feel light, and the other person can offer a fresh perspective that often helps alleviate your fears. Divorce can be a very sensitive topic, and you may not want to share your feelings with just about anyone. However, when you pour out your heart to someone you trust, you will be surprised by the amount of support your receive. Support in such trying times can help you think clearly and overcome your fears.
Get professional help if needed
The intense fear and anxiety that you may experience when contemplating divorce can significantly impact your mental health. Unable to combat the stress, many people resort to addictive behaviour by turning to alcohol or other narcotics, and sometimes to food that may lead to an eating disorder. If you feel that you may be walking down such a path, get professional help as soon as you can.
Share your feelings with your spouse
Your fear of divorce may stop you from sharing your feelings with your spouse, especially if your spouse is a narcissist or if you are in an abusive relationship. In such cases, you may speak with a professional first before speaking with your spouse.
Read more 5 Essential Rules for Divorcing a Narcissist in Singapore
Yes, it may turn confrontational, and you must remain calm and patient. Speaking the truth without fear, shame, or blame will help you make a tough decision such as divorce.
Divorce can be complicated, but a good and experienced divorce lawyer can help you through the whole process. A good Singapore divorce lawyer can help you navigate the complexities of divorce without adding to your stress levels.
