– Have you and your spouse decided to divorce?
– Are you struggling with very strong negative feelings about your situation and your spouse?
– Are you feeling powerless and scared in the face of the upcoming changes to your life and your marital status?
– Do you find that you are often consumed with overwhelming anger and hostility and feelings of revenge?
– Is the shock of it is making it very hard for you to deal with the practical issues of getting a divorce?
Life changes, such as ending a marriage and being single again can be very overwhelming for a person. Oftentimes people are aware that they are having problems in their marriage but are shocked when it leads to divorce.
Some people feel pushed into getting a divorce because their partner wants it; leaving the other person no choice but to accept the end of the marriage. Any of these situations can produce overwhelming feelings of distress, sadness, powerlessness, loss, and anger.
If you are dealing with a lot of these strong feelings such as anger, powerlessness, feelings of fear, maybe even feelings of revenge therapy can help you work through them. These feelings can complicate an already difficult situation.
Not being driven by your feelings is a goal of therapy.
A person needs to be rational, calculating, and prepared for major life changes. Overwhelming feelings can lead to decision making mistakes.
Therapy helps people create a safe place to work through what are your priorities for your new life. Being in the midst of divorce while you are still having to live your regular life can take its toll.
Self-care during a divorce is very important, and therapy is a part of that. Therapy helps an overwhelmed person make sense of things that feel out of control.
Too often people are looking to their divorce lawyers to address their feelings of powerlessness, anger, victimization, misunderstanding, and fear. However, lawyers are focused on the elements of evaluating division of assets, dealing with care and custody of children, matrimonial assets, and dealing with terminating the legal aspect of a marriage.
Using a divorce to seek revenge or get even or punish your spouse is a misuse of everyone’s time and energy and in the long run, hurts the individual, hurts the children and just hurts the whole divorce process.
Divorce lawyers are not trained to deal with a divorcing couple or a person’s overwhelming feelings the way a therapist can; unless your divorce lawyer is an accredited divorce coach.
Therapy is a way to help people think about things in new ways, gain a sense of power and control in situations in which they feel powerless, and find support and help to create a new reality for themselves and a new life.
Often, what is so scary for people, in getting a divorce, is the fear they will never meet somebody again or the lack of vision of what their new life will look like.
If you want help transitioning into a new life now that your marriage has been officially declared over and you are going through the divorce process, therapy can help you navigate these issues.
A therapist can help you to deal with the very strong feelings that you have, give you a new way to think about things, and help you to find and get control over life and shape it the way you want now that you will be single.
If you would like help with this, contact All In The Family Counselling at +65 9030 7239.