How to Help Yourself after Divorce

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Are you in the process of getting a divorce? Do you feel overly overwhelmed and sad at the loss of the status of being married? Is your identity challenged and you don’t know who you are? Are you overcome by fear and anxiety of what kind of life you have to look forward to?

Divorce is a very life-changing process that often is a result of years of dissatisfaction, miscommunication, not realising the partner who you once married and thought you’d spent the rest of your life with, you have grown apart or learn that you have very different ideas and values about how life should progress throughout the ages and time.

Unfortunately, the reality is people do grow apart, nobody has to be blamed and this is just a fact of life. It is sad and unfortunate and extremely disappointing. There are consequences to finances, to children, to social status. However, it does not mean that your life is over and you will never meet anybody again.

One of the most important things to do when you are getting married is to really work on yourself and reconnect to yourself. If you spent five, ten or more years with a person, living with another person shapes a mold of who you are and what you are like.

One of the major tasks after divorce is learning who you are and what you like. Oftentimes, people are very afraid of living on their own, they immediately worry will they meet somebody and perhaps are even concerned about re-entering the workforce or wondering how they will financially support themselves.

These fears and feelings can be overwhelming and cloud our judgement and get us to make bad decisions. One of the main things people often fear upon divorce is that they will never meet somebody ever again. These fears can really make divorce even more painful and get people to cling onto things that are beyond hope and repair.

One of the things therapy helps people to do is to figure out who they are and start to build the future. One of the most scary things for people is they are in an unhappy marriage, they are going through divorce, but they are not able to imagine what their life will be like.

This inability to have a vision where they are going and what their life will be like can be overwhelming and scary and keep them stuck. Therapy helps people realistically frame out what their life can be like, what are the choices available to them and what will be required from them to do that.

Therapy can provide emotional support to help guide people through the difficult life challenges and feelings that result from this. Therapy can also be a replacement of a spouse or partner providing support, guidance and good decision making as a person navigates difficult life decisions around career, where they will live and parenting.

To have the most successful outcome, you will need to challenge yourself above beliefs and ideas about divorce, about therapy, about right and wrong and who you are. Divorce often creates an existential crisis because people often have ideas about how they thought the world worked and who they are, and divorce forces people to face into these issues and really challenge the ideals they once had and figure out who they are. People often may be surprised what they learn about themselves and need help processing this.

All in the Family Counselling Centre Pte Ltd and Tammy Fontana help individuals and couples build a new life, figure out who they are and transition through divorce. This can help ease the divorce process and make a better outcome for all parties involved, ultimately, reducing stress, anxiety and finances.

If you would like to learn more about how therapy can help you as you navigate through the divorce process, contact All in the Family Counselling Centre Pte Ltd at +65 9030 7239 or email us at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com.

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