You probably think that it is ridiculous to claim that there are benefits to being a single parent. All of us heard the same complaints: The divorce process is so hard…The struggles of the financial hardship are so stressful…! Yes, it is a real struggle for single parents to get through the period of post-divorce emotional turmoil and yes, money is always a problem in a single income household, but guess what, there are benefits in becoming a single parent, if you will just look pass all the negative thoughts assailing you.
Let’s look at some of these benefits and you can decide for yourself if that is exactly what is happening in your household right now.
You are the sole decision maker
There is no more argument in the house. You make ALL the decisions. You decide what the kids will watch on TV, when they will take dinner, and when they go to bed. You decide where to bring them on weekends, and who they can hang out with. There is no need for you to negotiate with your partner what you want to do for your children’s welfare. Private or Government Childcare centres – you decide with your budget. Rice or noodles for dinner – you decide with your preference or a vote from the kids. All the big and small decisions are made by you, with no objections from another adult. Sure, there might be some major joint decisions that you need to make with your former partner, especially in a joint child custody, but most of the time, you are free to make your own decisions regarding the children!
You get to be your children’s only role model
Think of one incident in the past where you struggled with your former partner over the definition of being a good role model for your children. It might be that your former partner believes that getting drunk in front of the children is considered a good role model and you resent that. You quarrelled consistently and your children suffered.
You do not need to struggle anymore now, after the divorce. Now you are free to be the independent role model for your children. As a single parent, you handle the big and small problems at home. Your daughters will remember that their mom has change every light bulb in the house and know that they can do “man-things” even as a woman. The kids may not grow up in a dual family unit but they learn to be whole and independent adults who are confident in their own abilities.
You teach your children when to remove themselves from a toxic environment|
You may argue that the divorce process has affected the children, and the custody hearing probably cause some damage to their self-esteem. However, children have the tenacity to bounce back pretty well, and removing them from a toxic environment of constant quarrelling improve their well-being instead. Your singlehood also help the children to understand that not all relationships are equal and that some relationships are better off broken. This is especially true if your marriage had been abusive in any way. While they may not have a complete family as defined by society, your kids might be better off now as compared to the past.
You train your children to be more responsible
A single parent family usually means that the children help out at home. Nobody can do everything alone, so the kids get to help. By assigning suitable chores for them, you train your children to be independent and responsible for their own living quarters. On top of that, they learn how to do the chores at home, which is a plus point after they grow up!
You do not need to share the bed
After all those benefits for your children, it is only right that we focus on you henceforth. The first plus point of being a single parent is that you get the double bed to yourself. There is no more fighting over the blanket or who gets more space. All of it is yours!
You are in charge of your own body
This is a point that many single parents will concur. In a marriage, your body is not just your property; it is also your partner’s. A divorce removes that entitlement and reverts the full ownership to you. This means you get to say how you want your body to look and feel. You can choose to look like a whale or you can choose to be the sexy mama that you always dream to be while in your marriage. The choice is entirely up to you.
You get all the space in the wardrobe
For the single mom or the stylish single dad, this can be a gift from Heaven. You are now in charge of your wardrobe – completely. All the glorious space inside the wardrobe is yours. Now, you can hang up all your clothes without fear of them getting crumpled after you have painstakingly ironed them. In addition, you can freely add new clothes to the wardrobe (whenever you have the budget) without worrying about the space inside the wardrobe.
How many of the above benefits are you experiencing now that the divorce is over? They may not sound like benefits to you right now if you are still trying to move on from the divorce, but given enough time, you might just come around to view them as benefits indeed!