Building Closer Bonds with Your Children after Your Divorce

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A divorce is hard on your children and they definitely will be feeling antsy, uncomfortable and insecure after they have survived it. As a parent, how do you bond with your children all over again to assure them that they are still the most important people in your life? A divorce is likely to make you feel less adequate to handle life’s challenges, let alone your children, so how do you overcome that? The key to the answer for both questions is to spend time with your children. Spending time together not only bonds you and your children closer; it also heals the wounds that are left after a divorce.

What are some of the things that you can do to build closer bonds with your children? Check it out below!

Date your Children – Separately
Plan date nights with your children – one on one. If you have more than one child, take them out separately on date nights. You can find someone trustworthy to take care of your other children while you are out with your date so that you do not have to worry about them. When you are out with your child one on one, focus solely on him and let him speak his mind. This might be a little challenging when it comes to teenagers. One useful method that you can use on teenage boys is to let them take you on a date instead. By putting them in a position of assumed power, they feel more relax and will be more willing to talk to you about their feelings. Talking and sharing their feelings with you bonds much better than chatting about non-important things in their lives.

Do Something Fun with Your Children
Find out what your children think is fun – it could be a race in the park on your bicycle or a downhill run on a slope near your house. Once you have figured it out, do it with your children! Experience that adrenaline rush with your children to create wonderful memories for both you and your children. The bonding that naturally happens during the activities will be instantaneous and something that you will not regret. Just remember to watch your children so that they do not put themselves into danger.

Do some Crafts
If you desire some quiet time at home with the children, you can consider to do some crafts with them. Creating something new together with your children build bonds and also benefits all of you since the creativity that follows usually helps to heal some wounds. Besides, making something new makes you feel really good!

Go for a long bus ride
Bring your children on a long bus ride during the non-peak hours. This may means that you need to take a day off work, but it could do wonders for all of you. Sitting together in a near empty bus touring Singapore helps to bring out conversations and sharing from your children. As the bus passes by certain areas which you have fond memories of, share them with your children. In turn, they are likely to share their favourite location with you. All these information can be filed in your head for later use in planning surprises for your children.

Plan a Surprise Birthday Party
Remember the previous point of taking notice of your children’s favourite place? That information comes in handy when you want to plan a surprise birthday party for them. It doesn’t have to be a big party. It can just be you and the children going to the special place of the birthday child and holding a celebration. Your children definitely will remember the love and the efforts you put in to give them a wonderful birthday celebration.

Establish a Special Name for Each Child
If you have younger children, it is endearing to have a special name for each child. It can be anything – a cartoon character that they love, or an animal that they like. Keep the special name unique for each child and remind them that they are all well loved by you by using these names whenever possible.

Be flexible and spontaneous
Do not be a neat freak or a routine keeper. Singapore has too many of those. Instead, opt to be flexible with schedules and be spontaneous about things. If you see that the children are too tired to be reading their books, consider changing the activities and read to them instead. Sometimes, you can also create something out of nothing just to give them a surprise activity. For example, if the weather is extremely fair, you can announce a beach party with the children when you are actually planning to stay at home for the housework. Housework can wait – bonding with your children is more important.

Try Baking together
Most mothers find that baking together with their children bond them closer than ever. This works almost the same way as how you do crafts together. When you create something out of nothing together, you bond incredibly. Children gets the additional benefits of learning how to bake and the rewards are the yummy cakes and pies they get to enjoy too!

Share your Day with your Children
It is often a good idea to share how your day went with your spouse; you can do the same with your children too. Of course, you will need to speak at a level that your children can understand, especially if they are still young. However, this exercise is very good for bonding with older children as they are able to understand the challenges in life. Suggest the activity and be the first one to share. Your children may struggle with it at first, but as long as you remain non-judgemental, they will slowly open up and share their days and feelings with you. It is a great bonding exercise for everyone.

Bond over Books
If your children are young, read to them during bedtime. This is a great way to bond with younger children as you show that you are present and available to them through reading. It does not have to take very long; 10 mins a day is enough to show your children that you care enough to give them the time to focus only on them.

That’s it! We hope this has been helpful to you. Try them out and see the results that they can produce!

 

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